I need help with sleep

Sounds like you and your son would benefit from him sleeping in his own bed. It would be an adjustment but is worth it. I’d try the Taking Cara Babies method. It’ll change your life for the better!!!

Agree with the above. And also knowing that any change to the sleep schedule no matter what you do is going to take a bit for your baby to adjust - he won’t like changes and things may even get harder temporarily. But if you stick it out with a new pattern eventually he will learn this is the new normal!

Can anyone provide specific advice regarding sleep training? I have tried sleep training with taking cara babies and it didn’t work, I hired someone too. No luck

Following because I deal with some of the same issues. My daughter (16mo) has never slept well, she is in her own bed bc we moved her to a floor bed hoping it’ll solve our issues, but it didn’t and she needs me beside her mostly all night. I lay with her until she falls into a deep sleep around 8 so I can sneak out and sleep in my own bed. Then I’m back in there to lay beside her in a few hours when she wakes up, so I end up just sleeping in there the rest of the night. And naps are very inconsistent for us too, despite me being consistent and lying beside her at the same time each day hoping she will nap regularly. I’d desperately love for someone to walk me through the proper “sleep training” or whatever is needed to do step by step bc I can’t figure it out. Just know you are not alone, and these days won’t last forever

So sorry mama. Sleep is difficult for a lot of families. Have you tried a pediatric sleep consultant that supports biological sleep patterns? A typical 17 month old needs 10-12 hours of night time sleep and 1.5-3 hours of day time sleep. 5-6 hour wake window. If you’re a stay at home mom, finding a routine is really helpful. It takes a while for it to be consistent and for baby to fall into it. My child goes to bed at 9/9:30 and gets up at 9am. Later has always worked better for us. We tried for 6 weeks to move up to 7/8 and he would fight waking and going down. I personally believe that sleep training using extinction, CIO, Ferber is cruel to children. My suggestion if you’re a sahm is to do your bedtime routine, rock baby to sleep, transfer to crib and go to him every time he wakes up. It’s exhausting at first but should become easier with time. If he doesn’t have a lovey or blanket, try using a really soft t shirt of yours. Get your smell on it and put him to bed with it!

Children learn to self soothe between 12-36 months. Some learn before others. It’s important to support every child’s individual needs and levels of comfort. He will eventually figure it out, I promise. Always make sure sleep hygiene and the bedroom is set for good sleep. Dark, with a soft night light, noise machine or fan, comfortable temperature of 68-72. We use a lavender room spray now that baby is almost 1.5. There are different gentle methods like the chair method, trying to settle them in crib before they get really upset.

@Hannah thank you. Do you find it difficult to keep the temperature in that zone? Maybe I have it too warm. Usually it’s 74-76 at my house. Should I turn it down or get a heater specific to his room? I hate all the sleep training options that my city has to offer. I am really struggling. My son is really sensitive and I don’t feel right about the Ferber method but I feel like it’s my only option now that I’m extremely depressed and sleep deprived, to just hire someone. He really doesn’t like blankets or loveys. Sometimes I have luck with one particular small pillow but it usually only lasts a few mins and it’s never a sure thing. I don’t mind cosleeping for years, it’s just that he doesn’t let me slip out of bed even for a minute to use the bathroom, and when I put him to bed, I really could use even half an hour to put away dishes or change and get myself ready for bed. I also have to stand up and rock him back to sleep multiple times at night.

My husband and I prefer to sleep with the house at 66-68 degrees. No higher than 70 in the summer. My son usually has a bamboo pajama and a sleep sack on. I’d say it’s dependent on your heating/cooling system and how you guys run your house. Keeping the door open/shut will change the temp too. We bought digital thermometer to check him room temp until we got it where we wanted it lol. I know that sounds crazy. Some babies to enjoy it warm. Our kiddo will sweat and cry above 70 at night. Cannot wear fleece to bed either. A night light is important to my son when sleeping alone. When we tried pitch black he would scream and cry as soon as he woke up in the middle of the night. I read that red/orange lights support melatonin production. We read his bedtime stories by a colored lamp bulb in our rocking chair before bed. It’s Bluetooth and we can pick the color and brightness. It’s one of our favorite things.

He has a Slumberkins lovey and a crochet blanket or a thin muslin. My son didn’t have an attachment to anything until I started giving him something to hold on to. Like all day every day I would put it in his lap and he slowly fell in love and it’s his new bff now. He will sometimes put himself back to sleep with it. Definitely not always, we still wake 0-2 times a night. But he will sleep for 10-12 hours. Then I gauge how long his nap for the following day will be based on his night time sleep. Wake windows are so so important and have made sleep so much easier for me. Huckleberry helped me but all children have different sleep needs. I agree that sleep training and Ferber is cruel. Our children deserve love and comfort! Especially after co sleeping, it would be unfair to make them self soothe and sleep alone without support falling asleep.

Have you tried a rocking chair? I don’t know your situation or living arrangement but my nursing chair is still in his nursery and we use it every night and every nap. We never rocked standing up because we knew at some point we would be exhausted and couldn’t stand up at 3am for an hour. There is something called the chair method you could try. Or! Something that might work for you if he had a safe bedroom with anchored furniture is a Montessori bed. Fosters independence and may let you go sleep on your terms. You could fall asleep with him and walk out. If he wakes up, go back in get him back down and do it all over again until he gets that you leave when he goes to sleep and it’s okay. It may be an exhausting process but those are seeming like the most gentle method to stop co sleeping. Are you a working mama or staying at home? That will probably make a big difference in how your plan forms? I am so sorry this is so long.

Also I’m so sorry you’re feeling depressed and sleep deprived. That’s makes parenting hard. Do you have anyone that can come watch baby while you nap a few times a week while you sort this out? I know not everyone has a village, I don’t have that luxury unfortunately. But catching up a few days a week while you gently transition to crib might keep you sane.