in August 2024 Babies 🇬🇧

Feeling so overwhelmed 😪

I'm starting to feel so overwhelmed... First time mum to a little boy who will be 5 months on the 24th. He was born at 37+2. He has always been fairly easy to settle for the night. Either falls asleep whilst being nursed or placed in next to me after feed wide awake and will go to sleep without any assistance. Went through a couple of nights where he slept from around 7pm - 4am but from around 2 or so months ago has mainly been waking at around 2am and 4am for feeds. Sometimes if I changed his nappy, he will get put back down wide awake but again be able to put himself back to sleep. Recently he has been waking up around 11ish but that isn't really a issue. He has never been good at daytime naps. However I have started to successfully get him to nap in his next to me although has never been for longer than half an hour. To do this, I have tried numerous methods. Rocking/shushing to sleep, the chair method, ferber method and even the cry it out which breaks my heart. Most have worked at one point. But each day remains a struggle unless in carrier or covered pram/car seat where he will fall asleep much easier and a lot quicker. I can't see me ever being able to get him down for a nap without resisting. As soon as I put him in his cot it's like he knows and refuses even though he is clearly tired. I'm questioning whether I am actually putting him down when he is tired. I am trying to look for signs and go by suggested wake windows but now doubting I have it right. It's all so much and can't see it getting any better.

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How long is he taking to go to sleep when you put him down for his naps? And how long have you tried each method for? What wake windows are you following?

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@Annabel So if I leave him to cry, I play a hoover white noise on Spotify which is 9 minutes and if he doesn't fall asleep by the time that's up, I play it again and rock and shush him and he will usually go off before the 9 minutes is up. There have been occasions he will sleep when left to cry before the 9 minutes is up. Same if left in cot to cry with me sitting next to him. It's taken 15-20 minutes if rocking him to soothing music. I must admit, I haven't used any method consequently for over a week so maybe I need to just stick to one and do that. But I don't think he actually needs training as I know he can self soothe at night just refuses in the day. Wake windows I do are usually between 1 1/2 - 2 1/2 hours. He wakes up between 6.30 - 7. 30 and I usually put him down for first nap around 08.30 - 09.30. The second two naps are not always consistent as intend to go out most days whether for a walk or class.

Sounds like sleep regression xx my little one is going through it and I PROMISE you it gets better x your not alone honestly ! I’m a first time mum to a 4 months old almost 5 and a night ago was up every 1 hour and cluster feeding, just a lil growth spur and it should get better I promise that x your doing amazing x keep doing what your doing c , I usually just swaddle my little one and sleep him near me feed him his bottle and hell knock out cold c

Contented Little Baby by Gina Ford - My sister recommended it to me. I have followed it since my boy was 8 weeks old, and it has helped us so much. I don't follow it word for word, but it really helped me settle him in a good routine. He has 3 - 4 naps a day, a maximum of 3 hours, 5x half-full feeds a day, every 3 hours. He sleeps 6.30pm - 6.30am. - I'm not saying every night (sickness, growth spurts) but 80% of the time.

Still surprised that you manage to let your baby cry for so long, I can’t stand it 5 min and always help LO. CIO is not a helpful method, imo. You are in a leap and bubs needs more closeness!

@Gloria this might be the case for your baby but every baby is different. My little girl HATES being held to sleep and doesn’t find comfort at all from being held, shhhed or rocked. She needs to be put down in her cot.

We are in the same boat and were trying to follow wake windows but have no such a battle, particularly with daytime naps. We are also now questioning if she is undertired and she gets so frustrated. It’s all trial and error and guess work!

I totally understand how you feel! We’re also struggling with our little one’s naps too! He’s never been a good napper and it’s been a few weeks now where he has been fighting his naps and we can clearly see he’s tired as he’s yawning, rubbing his eyes or just staring into space but once we put him down into his crib, he’s cries. It then takes ages to settle him. I’ve been trying to gently pat him to sleep whilst shushing with white noise and blinds all down but that doesn’t always work. He’s okay with contact naps and can do around an hour sometimes but if we try and put him down, his naps are usually 20-30 mins if we’re lucky. Pram naps are good too but I can’t always be out with him in the pram. Everyday is a new battle and sometimes I just contact nap just to make sure he gets some sleep. I am running out of ideas on how to get him and down and am really hoping it’s just a phase.

@Lucy I was Talking about me, not the Baby. Cio is generally proven to be unhealthy for Bub. But you are Right that every Baby has different needs

@Gloria depends what your definition of CIO is. There’s no evidence to suggest methods like Ferber are unhealthy or damaging for children.

@Lucy do you mean no studies have been done or studies show that it is healthy? If so would love to read it, I only found studies showing the risks. Such as Ferber can damage the trust in the parent Just wondering but you said your baby does not want certain things which is totally normal. Do you mean your child prefer to be in bed and comforted in a different way?

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