in February 2024 Babies 🇺🇸

Husband is “jealous”

Prefacing this with the fact that I have a great husband! I’m a SAHM living the dream, all thanks to him and his wonderful self! But he thinks I “get to sleep in” when he goes to work at 3am. No! I don’t get to “sleep in”! I get to wake up 3-4 times periodically throughout the night, then wake up in the early hours of morning when the baby wakes up! Can I take a nap after she is awake, changed, and fed? No! She wants to make sure I am AWAKE and active before she takes a short nap, too short for me to have a satisfying nap of my own. Like. You get to sleep in late every weekend, you get to go to bed whenever you want on week days and experience UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP. And you are jealous of ME because I don’t have to wake up and commute in the morning?? I have not had a consistent, solid 8 hours for MONTHS. And you are JEALOUS??? Idk. I am very happy and thankful, but it gets on my nerves that he thinks that I am able to just loaf about and sleep when I am, in fact, painfully sleep deprived. Yes, he will *occasionally* take her so I can take a nap. This is not a daily occurrence, or even weekly, and normally ends with him waking me up because she is being fussy and wants mama. The idea that I get to nap, sleep in, or even rest without interruption is a joke.

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Wow I understand you completely! I’m a homemaker as well. And by the grace of God my husband is retired from the military. And he’s made life so much easier for our family . But I definitely know how you feel mama .

My husband also works early and he has to wake up by 4:30am m-f and works 9-10 hour days. I went back to work around 5 months PP and I work part time and I wake up around 6-6:30. I handle all night wakes because my baby nurses almost exclusively and when my husband would try to comfort her in the middle of the night, she would just escalate more so I get shitty interrupted sleep. My husband looks forward to sleeping in on the weekends since he wakes up so early and we used to try to switch weekend days of who gets to sleep in but I would still have to wake up to nurse her. So we’ve found that it works best where one weekend day my husband gets to sleep in, then when my baby goes down for her nap I’ll nap too and my husband will watch the monitor and get my baby up when she wakes up from nap so I can nap however long I want. Then the other weekend day, depending what’s going on sometimes he’ll sleep in again and I can nap again if I want to or I just wake him up when our baby wakes up

i have the same issue. he’s fantastic and i wouldn’t ever trade him for anything, but the statement “you can’t be nearly as tired as me because i work and you stay home” makes me see red. he sleeps 7-8 hours on weeknights and 14 hours on weekends. he thinks it’s comparable to my measly 3 INTERRUPTED hours a night 7 days a week. (it could probably be more but i have a hard time winding down at night and i wont hear her if i take a sleep aid)

Ask him to sleep with baby one night a week where he has to wake up and call you over to help soothe baby (I assume baby won’t soothe at night for him). And after you soothe baby it is his responsibility to rock baby until deep sleep and then put baby back into the crib. You get to go back to bed in another room. I feel like this is the one of the only way for him to develop empathy. Also talk about the lack of deep sleep, which is what our bodies need to physically recover.

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