How to have the birds and bees talk
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I would start with the fact that it isn’t a singular “talk”. It’s a series of conversations, that way it’s less awkward and you can talk about different topics at different times, it’s less overwhelming and she can prepare questions between the talks and have time to think over what was discussed. You should start with a what do you already know conversation and go from there. I plan on buying my daughters a book that describes lots of body related topics that way we kind of have a guide and she has a factual reference.
my dad made me watch youtube videos about sex and periods and such. he was so awkward about it but it was his way of teaching me and making sure it was explained properly. you can sit with her and talk about it while watching the video as well.
How old is she? You say she doesn’t know what sex is but half the time just because you think she doesn’t know there is a huge possibility she does. Has she started her periods? This is a good way to introduce it. For example this will happen monthly because of having a baby etc etc. My mum also bought me a book about puberty etc from amazon. This all linked in with buying bras etc, so it was like someone said above a series of conversations over some time.
@Elena I already initiated a talk and she said she didn’t know what it was yet and that her friends aren’t doing those things yet. She just got her period recently and is in 8th grade so I’ve been wanting to slow walk into the convo before she starts high school but I feel I need to speed it up now. This is all really good ideas in introducing the topic though so thank you!
There’s a sex therapist couple on Instagram that actually has podcasts and advice on talking to kids about sex. It’s @vanessaandxander on IG
My mom gave me a series of books to read that were very factual about like pubic hair and puberty and how my body will change and started with my own body and then the next series of books were about sex and guys bodies and all of that. Then after i finished all of the books we sat down and talked about my questions and her experiences and all of that.
@Kelly definitely going to look into books ! I’m more nervous about it being awkward because I’m pregnant rn with our 4th and now she will understand how babies are made.
8th grade are you in America because we had sex ed in middle school and when I tutored kids they had it in 5th grade. Just wondering why she hasn’t learned about it in school.
But I would start her off with the tea consent video and then from there explain what you need idk how to really help for your situation I go off my beliefs and then if there are questions I just answer them
@Day yeah I’m in America and in my middle school, sex was not taught. I don’t think that’s the norm for where I live either to have it taught in 5th grade. We just learned about puberty and that was it. Sex was taught to us in high school however but even then they don’t even do a great job at talking about it. I found a book so far and gonna search for a video.
I will never forget my first sex ed class. The teacher had actually fake penises and 1 was normal and 1 was diseased they broke down everything in that class. It feels like it was just the other day and it was over 10 years ago.
F
I straight up told my son the truth using the correct terms I always wanted to be open and honest about it.
I just googled what that is in the UK and it says year 9 age 13/14. I think if you have an open relationship and are close then she may be telling the truth but she may have also said that because she felt uncomfortable. In the UK and speaking on personal experiences a lot of people have started at this age which of course is insane but it happens, but yeah like I said the books are really good tbh x
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@Elena my sons school Did this in year 5 and 6! I wouldn’t have wanted this kind of conversation with my mom. I’m glad I never did. You pick it up yourself.
I would have her dad have that talk with her.
Like @Dana 🦅♥️🤍💙 said it’s not a singular talk but multiple talk type situation. They also need to know how their own bodies function. They need a safe space or way to ask questions.
My mum spoke about it all to me, and also gave me a book about puberty and sex to read on my own and to go back to her if I had any questions. Yes schools will teach it, but I think it's also really important for parents to talk about it too, so they know they can always come to you.
First of all I would recommend using correct terms; penis and vagina then hopefully she doesn’t feel awkward forever using those terms. There’s a HIGH chance she knows what sex is in grade 8 and she’s telling you she doesn’t but I agree with the above comment of doing it in the car and then be straight forward, sex is something adults do sometimes for fun but hopefully when they love someone so much. Explain to her it’s not a bad thing to want to explore and be curious but you just want to make sure she knows the risks that come with it too (pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases) I also would recommend showing her how condoms work and having an open convo about birth control, consent is a big one to talk about too. Doesn’t have to be one big daunting talk, one little sex chat a week could be good too!
Outside is the vulva, inside is the vagina. Boys have a penis. Clothing and swimwear covers your privates and the only person ( aside from mom) that it is okay for them to take a look at it if something hurts or itches or anything .... Is a doctor. Any part of your body normally covered by your undergarments is yours and yours alone . Hence why they are also referred to as privates
And if someone ever tries to touch you in a way that you are uncomfortable with. No matter how old you are. Scream. In most situations , that will get someone else's attention
@Elizabeth this is far too young minded for a 13/14 year old. They should 10000% know all of this stuff already. They need a sex education conversation, what sex entails why you have sex etc.
True. But consent is also important to teach any child of any age. And actually teach it as young as possible
https://www.familyeducation.com/kids/development/physical/age-age-guide-teaching-kids-about-birds-bees
Age by age guide
@Luz we both will be doing it so he will not be excluded. We want her to trust us both to ask questions.
The care and keeping of you is a good guide to puberty and understanding the female body and how it changes
@Elena I hadn't read enough comments to know that it was for a young teen , tbh
My daughter is still a baby I’ve never had to have this conversation. Not sure how helpful this is but I’ve heard that it can be better to have hard conversations like this in the car. Kiddo doesn’t have to make eye contact or respond but they kind of have to listen and retain the information and it can be a bit less awkward that way. Good luck!!