Breastfeeding struggles

Your situation sounds EXACTLY like mine! 18 months ago i breastfed for 7 weeks until my son started screaming bloody murder 24/7 and we found out he had a dairy allergy and i wasn’t willing to make the dietary changes so i switched to soy formula. That entire time i was using a nipple Shield and pumping and taking my pump everywhere. I hated it, it wasn’t what i envisioned. My son was never able to come off the nipple shield Now, i swore i was not going to pump and i was not going to use nipple shield. Well low and behold my son has a tongue tie and is causing a poor latch. I tried and tried to feed without the shield but i was crying every single time he tried to latch. The lactation specialist and pediatrician suggested i solely pump and bottle feed which i REFUSE. It’s already exhausting to be up 4x per night breastfeeding and doing diapers and getting the baby back to sleep, i am not going to get up to pump for 15 minutes then to start that entire process, it doubles or triples

The time that i would be awake at night. Two days ago i caved and added back in a nipple shield. While it’s still slightly painful, it’s better and I’m able to tolerate breastfeeding. I will say that with my first i was absolutely distraught when breastfeeding didn’t work put… i cried and cried and cried and told everyone he was “tainted” by having to switch to formula. When we met with our pediatrician… bless her, i will never forget what she said .. She told me “formula fed babies can still go to Harvard” and it just really changed my whole outlook. Like if you pull 100 of the smartest kids at Harvard into a room, you will never be able to tell who was breastfed, who got bottles, who got formula. No one knows… no one cares!! A fed baby is a good baby, and a momma whose mental health is in a good place to take care of baby is always most important. I just wanted to say you aren’t alone, if you truly are struggling, it’s okay to go to formula!! You have to do what’s best for

You and your baby, Only you Wil be able to make that decision. Sending you a giant hug ❤️❤️

One last thing…. I will say switching to Formula was the best thing i ever did for myself and my mental health, and i told myself this time around that if anything ~goes wrong~ with my breastfeeding journey, i refuse to put pressure on myself to continue on. It’s too much! I lost so much time crying and being stressed and frustrated and looking back i feel like i was constantly in a haze and i barely remember the time with my newborn. So i promised myself if anything doesn’t work out im going to formula with absolutely no shame. Whatever you decide is a good decision!

Also maybe try hand expressing milk once you have the nipple shield on so the tip of the shield fills with milk a bit so the first few sucks she actually gets something instead of just sucking on plastic and getting frustrated?

@Kelly thank you so much for sharing your experience!! It makes me feel so much more normal! I just keep asking myself why is it so hard for me when I see so many other moms able to do it no problem. You seem to know exactly what I’m dealing with here! And though I don’t wish this for anyone - it is nice to find solidarity in the struggle!

Also struggled with both my babies! My firstborn I lasted a week with bleeding/cracked nipples and I was just so upset I got told to exclusively pump for my mental health. At the time I found it too taxing and I was recovering from a rough birth so moved to formula and was upset about it for literally a year. My little boy is 2, flourishing and you’d never tell him from a breastfed child as they all get bugs at nursery 🤣 This time I promised myself I’d be kinder. I had a much better birth experience which has helped but my little girl has also struggled to latch/ gain weight. They asked me to triple feed which was SO hard. I just decided to take it day by day and getting past the first couple of weeks of postpartum hormones has really really helped me. Remind yourself that everyone’s journey is different because their baby/ body is different. It doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong - breastfeeding can be incredibly difficult.💙

Thank you both for these comments. I know objectively that if another woman was saying what I’m saying, I would tell her that she was doing great- and that it doesn’t matter because fed is best… it’s just harder to say the same things to myself.

hey, you're definitely not alone in this struggle, and it's totally okay to feel overwhelmed – breastfeeding can be super tough, especially after a rough start, so don’t be too hard on yourself! Just looked it up on the 'Heal Baby Care App' and here’s what it says: "It's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and guilty, but please know that you're not alone in this struggle. Many mothers face similar challenges, and it's important to prioritize your well-being and your baby's. Since your nipples are healing, you might try skin-to-skin contact to encourage your baby to latch again, as this can help stimulate her natural instincts. Additionally, consider using the nipple shield as a temporary tool while you work on latching, but be patient with both yourself and your baby.