Has anyone got a relationship where you let your partner sleep around?

Extramarital sex is never helpful

this is the worst advice i've ever heard

The advice likely comes from a man. If it's Alain de Buton, though he says some sound things, this isn't one of them. Apparently, he wrote an article about taking criticism on the chin, then when one of his own books was poorly critiqued, he hit the roof! He can dish out advice, but not sure he'd follow it as you'd expect

Personally—no. We go through the highs and lows as a team. Even when it comes to sex. And I’m a jealous girl…so I could never handle an open relationship. I think if yall happily make this choice TOGETHER….there needs to be black and white ground rules and expectations. This might be the time where you communicate more than you ever have in your relationship. And yah—I would kind of tell yourself “he could fall in love…” and him coming back to you when you’re ready could honestly make him uninterested since he’s had the opportunity to enjoy a platter of women for a whole year. Perhaps returning back to one coochie no longer seems fun. I don’t know…I’m just speculating. Do some research. Talk to people who are in an open relationship and understand the pro and con. Go on Reddit and join the discussion. Maybe get a therapist (for yourself and marriage) if you choose to do this. Someone you can spill your emotions to who isn’t bias.

I love these responses!! 😂tbh i don’t think i could stomach it, but at same time i feel if i am fine without sex, why should i expect him to be ok without sex too? Its like i should be ok for him to have extra marital sex because i don’t want to have sex as a chore just to keep him happy when it will do so little for me rn… but i guess thats part of relationships, doing things for your SO that ur not so interested in…

You’re not going to feel this way forever, and your husband (if he is a decent human being) will understand that. Look back at your wedding vows and remind yourself that you agreed to go through thick and thin together, and forsake all others. I think you’re good, no need to shake the pot and suggest he goes and sleeps with someone else

I would try to focus on why you aren’t feeling it…like if the workload is so much he could help to make you less tired more energy to be in the mood, or go on dates (after kids are asleep in your room if you gotta make it special add some romance or spice), do you feel attractive to him? Or attracted in that way to him? Maybe your hormones need to be checked, it could be a lot and I wouldn’t give up AT ALL girl. If you allow or say it’s okay to go outside a marriage you’re opening him up to any other woman if you did that

If my husband decided he didn't want sex anymore and told me to go sleep with other men, I would genuinely be offended (and not because he doesn't want to sleep with me, but because he would even think I'd consider sleeping with someone else). Are you breastfeeding? That can absolutely KILL your drive (I'm going through that right now, too). It will come back, and if it doesn't, you could speak to your OB/GYN because there could be some kind of hormonal balance that is off and could be corrected to make you feel normal again. I would never have an open relationship - but if you're going to have one, it needs to be something you both WANT, not because you feel guilty over not wanting sex. Opening your marriage for this reason will do nothing but lead to hurt and resentment. Also, I can't imagine it would be healthy for your children.

Have you heard of Esther Perel? She’s a sec therapist with a great book and podcast. In her book, she describes many different types of situations and arrangements and it was fascinating to read! For some couples, swinging once a year or having a sex buddy occasionally actually helped them feel more connected and in love with each other. I didn’t expect that but that book opened up my eyes to thinking outside of the box when it comes to relationships. Obviously everything should be thoroughly discussed and agreed upon etc etc. there’s also tons of ideas for increasing intimacy for a couple, even if the intimacy doesn’t include sex. Book is Mating in Captivity. So good!

Although you may not feel it, you deserve to have a fulfilling sexual relationship with your partner. I agree with the person who said, it's worth looking at why your sex drive is low. It's very, very common after having children. We're exhausted, our hormones are all over the place, our bodies have been through trauma, we're touched out, feel like milk machines, may have children sleeping in the same room/same bed as us etc etc. It's no wonder we don't feel like having sex! Open relationships have their place. However, they can be a very dangerous road to go down for a couple and can do more harm than good x

I'd be worried that once that bridge is crossed it would be the beginning of the end.. there's no going back once the deed is done

Its not something I would go for but I knew a couple who were great together everywhere but the bedroom and had an open marriage. They had rules about it and it worked for them. I wouldn't judge someone else for doing what works in thier marriage

An open relationship isn't something I'd be comfortable with. But I know people who do and it works for them. One friend their wife lives in Canada and they live in the UK. When they're in the same country they are faithful to each other. When they're not they can be with who they want. Others I know do this but they're not in a long distant relationship, they just have rules like always use a condom and regularly get sexual health checks. But they're also polyamerous