If your partner said you embarrass them, would you believe they loved you?

Depends on the situation. My husband embarrasses me sometimes because he's a goofball and does stupid shit. I still love him.

Depends. What was the embarrassment about? Personality? Looks? Something you did spur of the moment? Something you do every day? Something you can change or not? Something you said? The way you laugh? Like what is he embarrassed about, precisely.

Just my all around being, the way it’s outwardly perceived by others. Is embarrassing to him. And he says if I loved him I’d change. But he expects complete change overnight and only ever reminds anyone of his own progress. My progress doesn’t exist if I momentarily slip up in my changes. But his progress can be admired even if he’s been stagnant in his changes for months.

does that sound like love?

@Rosa I’m not giving any more details 🤗

@Rosa I’ve told him many times, I’m not whoever he thought I was, and that he deserves to go find who he’s looking for, and he’s persistent in saying if I loved him I’d just change into that person he’s seeking. And says more outlandish shit to try to hurt & manipulate me into feeling like my only choice is staying.

I wish I hadn’t tried that already. hahah

@Rosa I hear you, and I appreciate the attempt. I have lived this experience that I’m vaguely sharing any detail into.

all depends on how it was SAID.

@Peachy 🍑 not calmly, not joking at all.

My experience with past relationships is that when someone wants to change you it means they are frustrated and insecure with themselves and they project this onto you instead of trying to be honest with themselves and face whatever issues they have. It is like blaming you for their unhappiness and frustration. Also this means they are not “in love” with you in a “romantic” way. They might care about you and possibly even love you as you would love a relative, but they are not “in love”. When you are in love with someone everything they do which makes them special or different will make you love them even more… even when it is something silly or goofy, because you will feel they are so unique and nobody is like them. Furthermore someone who deliberately tries to say things to hurt you and manipulate you most likely doesn’t love you and surely does not respect you.

Ultimately you are not morally wrong, he is, because you are an adult and as long as you don’t do something illegal, it is up to you how to behave and he has no right to behave as if he is better than you and entitled to decide for you what to do. He is the one who got into a relationship with you overlooking things he didn’t like. If he cannot accept you, he has all right to leave but he has no right to make your life miserable and try to destroy you, no matter what’s the reason for that, as it is never right to attempt to annihilate another human being and no person should have to put up with such attempts. Nobody is perfect and perfection itself is a very subjective concept, so what we can do as humans is trying to understand each other and then decide whether we can accept each other in our lives as we are or whether we are better of apart.