Last name

You are most definitely not wrong for that. Your son shouldn’t have the same last name as someone who disrespects you. And doing it while you’re pregnant is just terrible.

@Evie I’m actually shocked by the audacity of this man. He literally drives around in a car I just got ‘us’. I feel like a complete idiot.

You shouldn’t be hard on yourself because of his shitty behavior. He’s the idiot and he doesn’t deserve you.

@Evie I just feel like the common denominator in all my crappy relationships.

You shouldn’t blame yourself for how other people treat you since you can’t control what they do. Sometimes it’s just best to walk away from things that aren’t meant for you.

The only common denomination is that none of these men were made for you. Anything that doesn't work out isn't meant for you, and don't ever feel like you need to settle for someone who doesn't show you the respect you deserve just because they're around. Once the baby is born, your perspective is totally going to change on what you are willing to put up with bc once the baby comes, it turns into you and the baby against the world. I saw this meme that really stuck with me when I separated from my husband 30 weeks pregnant...boys repeat what their fathers teach them, and girls accept what their mothers show them. It's more important to focus on the child learning life the first time around and let the grown as men fend for themselves. Focus on being the example you want for your son on how he views women and doing right by women. Otherwise, by sticking around your teaching, your son his father's behavior is acceptable, and women are ok with being treated that way

Frankly I wouldn’t even put him on the birth certificate if he’s acting like that. But that’s just me.

@Elyssa lmao no cus I thought the same thing but felt like it was spiteful 🤣

Honestly imo you’re protecting yourself! If you put him on there he’s entitled to parental rights, visitation, custody, etc. Now if you will need child support from him in the event you all break up you might still want to put him on there. But I would be hard pressed to want someone like that sharing custody of and helping raise my child! I’m sorry you’re going through that you deserve SO much better.

Uh i think this is wrong. Especially if it’s his child. Him being a horrible partner doesn’t mean he’s a horrible father. We really isolate children with this mindset. Men are parents by connection and proximity. It’s not a gift to have his name. It’s your child’s name. Sorry you’re going through this. I did too. And my son has his fathers name as he’s his fathers child. And has duties to him and none to me.

@Khristine I respectfully disagree. I personally feel that unless you’re happily married, the child shouldn’t carry the father’s last name. My son doesn’t have my last name but that’s because when I got married due to professional reasons I chose to keep my maiden name. As such, because my husband is a good man and good father - my son is named for him. Based on how this man is acting, I don’t feel he has any intention of being a good father. Being a good father starts with how he treats the mother of his child.

@Elyssa I’m sure you do. But the truth doesn’t negate itself here. Wishing you will!

@Khristine I think that in reality you would end up agreeing. It sounds like you’re blessed to have a happy co-parenting situation. And that’s great for you. To me, if he’s already treating the mother of his child - who is pregnant with his child - poorly, it doesn’t speak well to his future intentions. That being said, I also wish you well.

@Elyssa we know nothing about the terms of their relationship. Which could have started a way and ended where it has. When she decided to have the child “for the man” the name isn’t for the man it’s for the child and for the entitled benefits of said child. I was born, and do not have my father’s name. In his death that posed a major issue. And he was ruled my father through paternity. This is about protection. You can have the same name and not have rights. So the truth still stands. Respectfully.