raising a boy to be a loving man

Same and I'm going to have 3 😩😂 I'm going to make sure they know that mama will get them if they treat their partner the same way as some of these men do and I don't care how old they are.

Personally, I think the whole "boys will be boys" mentality has really been detrimental to the development of men.

What @Katrina said^^ but also the pressure that boys should be tough, suck it up, and never taught how to feel their feelings is another factor. There’s a time and place for boys to learn how to be strong men but it starts with feeling like safe and loved child

I think part of the reason we currently have the men horror stories is because we were raised in the time of "boys can't have emotions aside from anger" so they never learned to understand themselves and regulate their emotions, especially sadness/crying. We were also raised in the "boys will be boys" and "girls are responsible for boys' behaviour." Main thing I've learned when it comes to all children (first time mom, my son is 7 months but I used to work in childcare) is to teach them empathy, help them learn about their emotions and how to regulate them and help themselves when they're young, and teach them respect and consent (consent as in, they are in charge of their own body, same as others, and if they don't want to be given a hug, then they won't, and they have to do the same for others). Talking them through their emotions and reactions to things helps them understand, but also know that they can talk to you about it, which makes them feel safe and open up, not only with you but future family.

Something I learned in childcare, especially for preschoolers, is to talk through situations with them when something happens, ask them about how they would feel if someone did x thing to them like they did to the other person, and rather than timeouts, take the child to a quiet place and stay with them, allow them to calm down, and talk to them about how they felt, why, and what they could do instead next time. Time outs basically teach "this emotion is bad, supress it" where also going with them to calm down shows you are there to help, you will give them space until they are ready, and help them learn "my emotions are normal to feel, but the action I took this time is not." Basically talk to you kids. I can remember as a kid being told to do something "because I said so" or "no questions" but kids want to learn and understand. Example; "Why do I need a coat, I dont feel cold?" "It will feel colder the longer you're outside, and you can get sick" Kids just want to be treated like people. Like all of us.

Treat your sons and daughters the same. My mom had 11 kids and my brothers have been married for over 10 years and their wife’s are always praising them. They cook clean do appointments and everything else they mainly moms do. My mother never made any of do certain things based off gender.

https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/0345518101?ref_=mr_referred_us_au_au This book is great 🫶

I know a lot of boy moms before me most of their sons became heterosexual men some homosexual. But first teach young men consent affection and that violence of any kind is wrong. Then teach them how to dress . Teach them masculine things through clothes toys sometimes tv or movies as long as it’s age and culture appropriate Example I know white boys black American boys African boys Hispanic boys not too many Asian Middle East boys I as a black American woman can only teach what I know but gain guidance on the things I don’t since my sons paternal relatives are from another country with religious views. My family is multiracial with a lot of interfaith practices

Thank you everyone, really insightful . @Kai definitely will put this into practice when the time comes! .. Here’s to raising kind, gentle and caring boys 😊

I definitely agree with @Kai. Im also a FTM but I am a teacher, which requires lots of child psychology training and all she said is backed by science. Children need to learn to regulate their emotions, feel their feelings and navigate through tough situations. Thats what we’re here for, to help them out. I think also a big part of raising a boy, is what kind of male figures do they have in their lives? Most of the time boys copy their fathers. Sometimes boys grow up and don’t want to be like their fathers because they care about being better for their partners, which is my husband’s case. My FIL never changed a diaper, never took care of their mother emotionally or anything like that. He made sure to provide money for the home and that’s it. Didn’t take them anywhere ever for fun. Now my husband makes it a mission for us to go somewhere away at least once a year, changes any diaper he needs to, feeds, burps, bathes, changes, etc. No need to ask. No complains. Kids copy what they see!