Were you a foster child that stayed with one family throughout?
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@Emiline I'm in the UK and we have a permanence order in certain cases which means there will be no reunification. This is what I'd look into if it would make my husband more open to the idea. I'd personally be really happy to help people go through the life challenges and be the one that kept their child safe and I'd be so hopeful that we'd stay in touch long after the fostering ended. If I had my way I'd have a charity for all mums who found themselves pregnant and screwed where I'd want to help them stay at home and looked after until the child is at least 3 and then help them get on their feet so that they can be in charge of their destiny. So yeah I (probably more than others) appreciate the value of a bio family and would go to lengths to protect that. Unless the bio family is the things I've listed above, then I think the child is better off being as far away from them as possible Thank you for your comment xx
It may be helpful to contact the agency and speak with a foster mama local to you as you might have a completely different experience than someone in the US or Canada! Where I am there are a few maternity homes so a pregnant or new mama can stay and live there (while taking classes like cooking, how to set a budget, other life skills and counselling or trauma support) until their child turns 2 so starting or finding something like that to work with may be something you’re interested in or called to do!
@Emiline oh wow I had no idea things like that already exist! It makes me feel so hopeful for the new generations of parents and children 🥹🥹 That was something I was planning to look into (starting a charity or now thanks to your advice look for work in an existing home if any) once my child didn't need my time and attention 24/7, if my husband never gets his mind around fostering
My husband was in foster care. He was in foster care when he was 8 and got out of foster care at age of 9 and went back to his mother along with his 3 other siblings. Prior to that, he was in a foster home (group home). Their mother was a drug addict and got sober and cleaned and how my husband and 3 other siblings were able to return back. My husband is 27 (28 in March) and is still in touched with his foster family. They send birthday cards, holidays card and even send a wedding card for us when we got married (eloped). We now have two kids and they also would send gifts or cards to them. They usually come down to visit every year or whenever they can and we would have lunch with them. We would chit chat and catch up with life, ect,. His foster family also have two kids they adopted. They’re both in college now. Since they’re in college, we don’t see them when they visit now besides the parents. Each time they visit, they buy gifts for our kids and pay for our meals.
@s a r a 🥀 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥰 oh my goodness Sara, thank you so much for sharing
So I’ve been in neither position but the purpose of fostering is for reunification as much as possible, viewing the situation as the family getting the support they need to be the best they can be to flourish in parenting-as opposed to seeing their family as terrible and unsafe, there’s many reasons why a child may be placed in care and it’s not always due to crime or abuse. It could have been temporary homelessness from a housing situation failure such as a last minute sale decline and a shelter worker called child services and the child was removed. I believe there’s fostering-to-adopt options but it all could depend on the province/state/country you’re in. It’s a lot of work (like to take courses and keep them updated, interview process which includes being very upfront about absolutely every area of your life) but there’s such a need for safe and loving homes for these children for however long they need, and what a blessing it would be to be a part of their reunification story!