How to excite my husband?

My husband has been telling me recently I don’t excite him anymore, I don’t try to dress sexy for him at home, I don’t make him ‘c*m’ (I DO make him, but I think he means I don’t initiate sex or we don’t do it often ?). Everything he brought up I tried to work on. I started dressing more cute in some new night dresses etc rather than winter pyjamas, showing more skin at home, sometimes he’d initiate sex but other times he wouldn’t really show any interest. One night I tried to initiate sex and he rejected me. He always wants to be the one to initiate and make first move, when I do it he doesn’t like it, so after that I just gave up. So when he says I don’t make him c*m it annoys me because he’s the problem, he’s the one that will act like he wants me to be more sexy but then doesn’t want me to make first move and then have to wait until HE comes to me. I also took him out on a date recently to try and get outside just me and him, and he’s a very antisocial not fun person so the night was extremely awkward and boring, but at least I tried. Yesterday he came to me to have sex and then stopped mid way because he triggered my period (I made a previous post about this) and said its a turn off for him. This evening he has come home from work, I’ve cleaned and tidied the whole house, I’ve cooked food for him and me and the kids were all happy playing games enjoying the weekend. Everything was going fine, we spoke etc and then as he walked past me he randomly said ‘I don’t even want to come home’… so I then questioned him why and he said ‘you don’t excite me’. I really don’t know what he was expecting from me? I asked him and he said he doesn’t know either. I told him it’s not like I’m going to wear something sexy when I’m on my period and he’s not going to come near me anyway ? And then he said ‘let me not say anything because it will make you really insecure’ At this stage I don’t know what more I can do?! I’ve tried everything over the years, I got to a point I give up. Our relationship is boring, there is nothing exciting about it for me either, he doesn’t ’excite’ me too, but I wouldn’t be rude and say that randomly when everyone’s having a happy day? There’s no spark between us, no butterflies etc. he thinks cause he’s a man with a good body he doesn’t need to make effort for me, at home he’s just wearing grandad pyjamas and farting, but honestly I don’t care cause we’ve been together for a long time, we are supposed to be comfortable with eachother. Is there anything I can improve? What do you do to excite your partner?

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He’s definitely the problem. My husband comes onto me while in lounge wear that has baby spit up on there and not showered yet

I’m sorry that you have him as your husband. He needs to do better. Please don’t keep thinking that *you* need to improve. It’s not you. This man will destroy your self worth and confidence. Get rid of him.

I would seriously sit down with him and tell him how he is making you feel. This sort of behaviour is not acceptable and the longer you leave it the worse it will get. Communication is key here.

Omg seriously, what do you see in this man?! He sounds like a right prick tbh! I'd be telling him to fuck right off talking to me like that, the fucking arsehole! I'm livid for you!

Just a thought but could he be a closet gay?

You definitely deserve way more than this man is giving you though and you are not the problem. X

@Claire this is exactly my thought, my previous husband behaved quite similar (with him 10 years married 3) and turns out he was gay

@Claire @Katie what would the tell tale signs be? How would I know? He’s EXTREMELY into females, like women are on his mind 24/7, he follows tons of Instagram women he finds attractive, tons of pages dedicated to just posting half naked women or women’s bodies, he adores the attention he gets from women, he’s cheated in the past (again with a woman), he has very particular attributes he loves about the female body too etc. whenever anything remotely gay comes on the tv (a gay scene etc) he gets repulsed

This is all how my ex used to behave, but he never made me feel sexy when I dressed up for him, sex became less frequent, he had a lot of older male friends, we hardly communicated with one another, he was very distant from me. I did ask him if he was he lied to me and said no, after we got divorced he met a man they are now married 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hun. You would be a porn star you wouldn't turn him on. He just decided that you wouldn't. Please don't waste your time to try to fit in something that s not worth it. He clearly isn't interested. Ask him what does he want precisely? Than, if the requirements are reasonable, do it and see how it goes. But I bet it won't even work. Also he sounds like a jerk. He thinks about female 24/7, follows naked women, like other women's attention???? How do you even feel about that. Sounds like you are wasting your time.

He’s playing mind games with you and trying to control the whole situation it’s not healthy and I’m sorry to say it probably won’t change. So the question is can you deal with that behaviour for the rest of your life or do you actually want a man who cares about your needs?

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