How to do things?

I cook, every day, but it's extremely stressful with little one asking up up up or crying or throwing things. I have a toddler tower that I thought would help, but she still wants up. Her napping isn't predictable anymore. She barely did 1h today and all I got was one admin thing done. I have never felt so disorganised in my life... everything is such a mess. I'm trying to embrace the mess, but my life is significantly more difficult. I can't find things, and I make more mess pushing things around trying to find something. I can seem to keep up with anything

19 months is a good age to start getting them involved in the tasks you do! Like you mentioned your little one likes to help you when cleaning but it might take a little more time! That’s perfectly fine, I think a lot of us try really hard to get things done as fast as possible all the time but if there’s no big rush it’s okay to slow it down just a bit. When cooking, have them “try to cut stuff up” (using non sharp kids knife’s), have them place items in the bowl, just get their little hands busy! Purchasing one of those stools for them to stand at counter height is probably best to ensure safety! I can understand that it can be a little more stressful managing them as you are doing tasks, have grace and patience and all should be well 💕 best of luck!

Don’t give into little one wanting to be carried all the time, if crying starts it’s ok to let them express themselves. Reassure them that crying is ok and if they feel upset thats normal. But they cant always receive carrying if mommy is busy so it’ll have to wait. You can offer for them to “help you first” and once you’re all done you can carry them. If they don’t want to help and throw a tantrum just let them work it out themselves, crying from “not getting what they want” doesn’t harm them so it’s ok to let them cry it out.

Nobody has the hang of this. We are all winging it. You could try a carrier to keep her close but out of the way a bit. She can also nap there if she wants/needs to. For getting ready give her something to play with whilst you get sorted. Cooking I would get my daughter involved in her toddler tower. Even if it's something simple like washing veg, mixing sauce. If your partner doesn't like you having no time/intimacy they need to step up and help.

I do most chores while lo is awake and with me or playing near me, like laundry, cleaning bathrooms, dusting etc. I mop floors one night a week when he is in bed. It is more annoying having him with me but then I use his nap times and bedtime as time to relax. Cooking dinner is annoying as he gets whingy and clinging to me as he’s hungry and tired but most nights it’s just something in the oven and I just let him cry or distract with something. It is stressful though. For the gym I go to 1/2 evenings during the week as soon as my partner gets home at 5.30, I only do 30 mins but at least it’s something and then I’m back to put baby to bed. He gets him changed for bed. Then I go once at weekend when I’ve a bit more time.

Also getting ready in the mornings is annoying, I have locks on most of my cupboards in my room as he pulls everything out. He is sometimes crying and clinging to me but again I just ignore until I’m ready. Sometimes as soon as we get up, I give him milk and set him in front of tv and he drinks it himself while I sneak upstairs for 10 mins to get ready in peace. Sometimes he doesn’t notice, other times he cries at bottom of the stair gate but I just let him cry there for a few mins til I’m ready

It sounds like my life. It's hard. Especially with your little one being very energetic. I used to put her in her large play with toys and cartoons to get a break. We installed a couple of baby proof locks in the kitchen cabinets. One cabinet is designed for her to play with. You can rotate toys. After 19 months, it started to get easier. More independent play. Better communication. Hang in there. 💛

We limit cooking to 3 times a week. My husband does the cooking. He cooks on Sunday enough for three dinners during our baby's nap time. He cooks on Wednesdays and Fridays after work enough for two days of dinners. So Sunday he makes dinner for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday he makes dinner for wed and Thurs. Friday he makes dinner for Friday and Saturday. Sometimes our parents come over to help on the weekends. If not we divide and conquer, one person will take the baby out for outside time and the other will clean. We have a clingy baby that doesn't like us doing other stuff so we have to take him out of the house to get stuff done. Or do it during his nap, but some stuff is hard to do during his nap. On weekends, Saturday morning we go grocery shopping as a family then in the afternoon both Saturday and Sunday I go out to do errands during his nap time while my husband stays at home to cook or clean while he naps.

In the mornings he is good about staying in bed till 7am so we wake up at 6:30 to get dressed and get breakfast ready

Thank you for the replies! Yes cooking is ok, I have her in the tower and she does things, she doesn't do well with toys. Like, she doesn't care for them if I'm not playing with them with her. In public she won't even give them a second thought, just throws them. Cooking is probably the best, as with cleaning, we do slowly vacuum together and she fills and empties the washing machine, these i do as best as i can with her. She hands me clothes to hang up. It's the other things that she can't join in, she won't accept toys when I do self care of any kind, she won't take the bait kind of thing. I have tried finding a clean brush for her to "copy" Me, but she still want to be on me or touching me or trying to brush my hair etc, which I do love her for. Is your gym close? Or do you do something at home? I live in the countryside so everything is so far away and I tried at home but I can't seem to find something i like. We just ordered more locks

We don't have a tv and i tried once playing a video on .y phone, but she doesn't care for it. Do they stop crying? Mine doesn't. She will cry so hard she will vomit. She will also drop herself backwards and bump her head out of protest and hit me... Oh yes Eva she is very energetic, too! My LO hates her play pen, absolutely hates it, she will throw her toys over the top of it. My bottom kitchen cabinets have nothing in them but tupaware and empty bags, I lock one with pans in, but she doesn't try the kitchen yet it's more my clothes drawers as soon as I unlock them to get something out she will come running and pulling everything she can grab. How doe your LOs react to no? Do they stop? I always say no and never give in, and she will never stop, I even remove her or the object and try to distract and she will still absolutely want to do the thing I say no to. She will hit and scream. Oh that's very interesting Karen! My husband isn't a cook, but maybe I can try persuade him to do more cleaning on W/E

Does he cook different meals or one meal for the three days? I try to cook so that there is lunch for the next day. I really need to get into the prep cooking. What does everyone do about admin stuff? Like phonecalls? Do you wait for naps? My LO will whine the entire phonecall and hit me

I'm mostly worried about going back to work, because I can kind of do things slowly with LO but when I'm at work I'd just have the evening and weekend to try to do chores and attempt self care/hobbies

For the toddler tower, I have a plastic knife for her (came with her kitchen set) and her chopping board. So far, I have her cutting her bananas and her avocado, but what else do you do? Do you have LO stirring? I'm a little nervous at her going too close to the hobs and hot pans, i have her bearish to watch sometimes but not reach, and then i push her tower to the safe part where she can cut/touch things

But she still whines. She wants whatever I am doing, even if it's the same. I get quite claustrophobic with her crying as they are full on bursts of crying so loud and piercing. I have a ringing ear now, she unfortunately (bless her) had colic when she was a baby and i don't know if this contributed to how she is now. She couldn't lay down without pain so I had her in a carrier often to help her burp (it would take a very long time) even with her colic medicine and everything the midwives suggested.