How do you do it?
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I'm with you on this one. I lost my mom 10 yrs ago. I had my son 5 years ago and I keep thinking how unfair it is my mom isn't here for us. She was the best. I don't have a village either, or a partner. And I'm definitely not the mom I should be, or half the mom she was. Therapy has helped me before with other issues, I bet therapy would help us with this.
I didn’t lose my mom per se but I did. She was present all the time for my daughter and I was so grateful and still am for how present she was for me and her during that time. I recently had my son and she brought her conniving mother and is basically her caretaker. I lost my mom because she’s chosen to help her mother over me when there’s been a better option for care for that lady. I don’t have a village unfortunately. It’s hard.. I think I’ve developed anxiety from it because I get so overwhelmed as I’ve been home since my daughter has been born and I totally changed how life was. I’m grateful for not missing anything in my daughter’s life but it’s also exhausting that I’m doing this alone and far from any help.
I’m so sorry
I feel you 😞 I lost both my parents in COVID times and couldn't even go to their funerals coz of being in a different state. I now have a 3 year old and everyday mourn the fact they never got to meet her. My brother had children and got to see them with his children and it hurts. I just try and tell my daughter about them, celebrate them and have lots of photos around the house
@Susie I've been in therapy and it helped when I first had the boys but not so much with this
Oh man I feel you mamas this is so hard! Not having the people we wished we had is hard, that longing especially when it feels like it could never be fulfilled can be so painful. I lost my mom when I was 9 and lost every other mother figure to their own inability to actually step up and properly look out for me. I didn’t know what it would be like having kids for the longest time until I met my SO and his family when we had our first 4 years ago, my mil was amazing, we lived with them during our transition to buying a house. When we had our 2nd bub 2 years ago we stayed with them almost 5 months and she was always there and available. My in-laws would visit practically every weekend and my mil and I had such a supportive and psychic bond it was awesome. Now I’m pregnant with my third and just after I got pregnant almost 7 mo ago she found out she had stage 4 pancreatic cancer. We lost her last month and I am so sad for my kids to not have any grandmas but esp that she won’t be here pp.
As someone with no parents around it doesn't get easier. I just keep thinking what would they do , I speak about them to my son he's only 11m old but it helps. I go to therapy and I'm trying to be the best version of myself for him. My mum and dad would want me to do that! I'm sure your mum would to! It is hard though seeing grandparents out with their grandchildren . But I will explain it to him when he is older. My partner mum is alive but she only sees my son here and there unfortunately.x
I lost my mom back in August, & it’s very hard to deal with, knowing she won’t be around to see my kids grow up, it’s devastating, I have a little family support, but it’s just not the same without her here, and I be feeling like I’m not the best mom I could be
I feel this so hard. My story is basically the same, except I don’t have a father or aunt in the picture. My siblings all had kids when my mother was alive, and I was so full of spite about it when I first got pregnant and had no one to go to for council. My siblings children are all grown, and while I spent most of my teenage years babysitting and loving on those kids, only 2 of my 6 siblings have even met my youngest. It’s crushing to imagine a village and not get it. I mentally snapped trying to do it all. I’m better now, but grief is like a stone in your pocket. Some days it’s a pebble, other days it’s a boulder. I made a few mom friends who love my kids, but we recently moved and my heart hurts starting over again. I don’t regret moving bc my husband loves his job, but it’s so hard going back to just he and I, and now I’m taking care of my MIL who has no desire to help with the kids too.