Constant arguments over chores..

My husband never says those things directly and he does help when he can, but as of late hes been working a ton of 12 hours shifts and 6 days a week, so his set of helping hands being gone has been noticed, so the other day I updated him on how my goal of cleaning the fridge was going, just to shiw him how chaotic cleaning is when he isn't around. It took me 3 HOURS because our daughter kept making messes here and there or needing to eat/snack or accidentally stepping on a ranch packet causing it to splatter everywhere lol My husband was laughing with me about how chaotic it was, but I think it was also good for us both to show/see what its really like when hes gone and why I'm not able to just keep the whole house clean all day. (Not to mention cleaning up the living room 3 times yesterday and it still ended up looking a wreck it the end of the day lol)

He needs to man up. He lives in the home too. My husband never makes comment on how messy things are unless we're agreeing we need to clean it. He wakes up a little early most mornings to tidy up the kitchen, start the dishwasher, and put a load of clothes in the washer if he has time. We both recognize nothing will ever be spotless with kids. He especially doesn't make comments while I'm pregnant too because he knows how exhausting pregnancy is. It sounds like your partner needs a reality check.

@Annika that’s nice. I feel like my partner has an unrealistic standard set. I always say it’s a lived in home not a show home it’s not gonna be spotless 24/7. I was really sick in early pregnancy and he saw how fast dishes and messes piled up but still didn’t offer a hand..

@Stephanie I understand that it’s a beautiful chaos sometimes. I just wish we could be on the same page. My partner works full time but often has half days where he comes home and chills or goes out with friends. I know he works hard it’s just hard to do everything on my own.

It definitely sounds like a double standard. I understand being a SAHM and having the bulk of the home responsibilities, but youre jobs is 24/7 with no days off, weekends, or sick leave. He gets to clock out at the end of the day... Since my husband has been working so much more than normal lately, we have an agreement (we made it a long time ago) that since my job now has his (understandable) slack, he is not allowed to complain, even if he comes home and its a straight up tornado blown through kinda day. Now, if he was working just 40 hours a week and complained, I would just say "feel free to help" or "okay, take our daughter to the park for an hour or two and I'll speed clean uninterrupted" and that works for us.

A real man knows that being a mother & raising kids is the most important job. No one sacrifices more than a good mother. No real man will let u do everything on ur own. Being a mom is a full time job & ur pregnant at that! If anything he should wanna help u more now! The chore expectations convo should’ve been had before babies & before u both made a commitment 2 eachother. That typa mindset & behavior of his isn’t okay at all. Any good man would tell u he’s s’posed 2 help. I don’t tolerate that. I grew up watching my dad fold laundry,cook,do my hair,wash dishes & even clean. So that’s a quality I expected in a man. My now husband is the same way. When he see’s dishes piled up,he knows I’m not feeling my best & probably exhausted emotionally or physically. Especially on my cycle! Being a woman is draining & difficult some days! We deal w so much. He needs 2 understand that! If you don’t wanna keep dealing w this u have 2 speak up 4 urself & leave if nothing changes.

Sounds like he wants a maid & mommy & not a family or a wife! I would be disappointed in him if that was my son! Do your parents & his parents know he’s like that w you? Even if he learned that from his father, let him know u won’t tolerate that misogynistic crap from him. Does he not have women relatives that could talk some sense into his selfish..inconsiderate head? You deserve better!💛I hope ur brave enough 2 leave him & go out there & get it! 💛 life’s 2 short 2 deal w a man baby!

He needs a day of your life to see what he doesn't understand. (This seriously needs to be the new reality T.V. show 🤦)

@Sarah I agree, I would watch that show

@Monica thank you, we did talk about this when we moved in together and when I was pregnant with baby #1 and when we agreed I would stay home and take care of most of house stuff but he would also pitch in after work. Obviously that isn’t how it panned out.. my dad also did chores and helped my mom. On his side of the family it’s mostly women (his dad isn’t in picture) but idk if they did everything for him growing up or what we’re not super close with his fam and mine doesn’t really see what it’s like at home.. it’s really difficult and draining I’ve been trying to get through to him that I don’t believe that it should be this way. Thanks for your support.