Dwindling friendships

Here we go another “where did my friends go” post. One of my oldest and closest friends has rescheduled a meet up as of today for a fourth time. 1-okay 2- damn adult life 3- are you actually trying to meet up? I gave 3 different dates and a selection of restaurants. Answered in time for last offered date and didn’t select a restaurant. 🤔 They apologized for being MIA ONLY AFTER I SENT A “sooo…👀” to follow up the day of. I know ppl can have lots of things going on but it’s been 4 months since the first attempt and it feels personal. Don’t ppl make time for the things that are important to them? If I can schedule with an infant, they can carve out a few hours for dinner. It sucks to feel like an afterthought…. not even, forgotten actually and only a priority if “useful” to their current aesthetic 🥲 Should I be offended or keep giving them the benefit of the doubt?

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Neither, just let go, sometimes it's a matter of time before you see the true picture

I wouldn’t keep trying to force a friendship. I had to cut someone off because of this same reason. She kept putting me on the back burner while hanging with other people. The last time we talked, she promised to go somewhere. The night before she said she had to go out of town for an emergency with other friend. It was always something coming up. So I just let it be. People make time for what they want.

Friendships are in our life to bring joy and protect us against the hard times. It's one thing to feel disconnected over text, but when you are together, does she make you feel good, special and important to her? If you see her and the past excuses feel genuine, let it go. If it all feels fake, then move on. Reserve judgement until you actually see her. It would be a shame to lose a good friend because they had a busy season or you read a bunch of drama into their texts that they didn't intend. Caring for a newborn puts major restrictions on your time and skews your perspective of things. Try to avoid drastic changes to your life and relationships this year unless there is something heinous happening... If it feels like a lot to meet up now, try again in a few months.

You should listen to the Mel Robbin’s podcast that was released on the 10 Feb titled ‘Why making friends as an adult feel impossible’. It talks a lot about why friendships go through different stages. It might help you not take it personally. Honestly, trying to force the friendship will just make things harder.

Sorry you are feeling like this. Do they have children? I haven’t heard from my best friend since June last year. I’m not making excuses for the friends that stop checking in but I think our realities change so much when we have children and it’s so different to what they have going on

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