Financial issue - advice please!!
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I would 100% not be purchasing anything with this person. When someone shows you who they are, believe them! He’s showing you he doesn’t value you and feels it’s ok to try and use you for your money. He doesn’t think it’s fair to pay his share of the deposit back? Wow, just wow. I would personally wait until he gets his large sum of money in the next few months, let him pay his half of the deposit and make sure if you put any money towards the purchase, you have it locked down legally by a deed of trust and that your solicitor has checked it over so you don’t get shafted in the event of a split.
If you buy a house with this person and you are putting in all the cash. You should get a lawyer to have a clause that you get all that money back should you sell /split up. Otherwise he can take half. It’s nothing bad it’s just common sense I did it with my husband as even though he put savings in I sold my flat so majority of cash we put down was mine. Most solicitor is will write this for you for very cheap.
Sorry….. let’s just remember you are on maternity to look after your baby. Yours AND HIS. What a jackass.
I would be reluctant to put his name on the mortgage if he is unwilling to pay half the deposit. As Naomi mentioned, definitely get a legal agreement about that money being yours. Him paying for everything while you’re on maternity is a completely different issue. And he’s not “supporting” you, he’s basically paying for childcare for the baby you share. You being able to have this time with your child is to the benefit of the whole family.
He’s not ‘supporting you through maternity’ - he’s supporting HIS FAMILY financially whilst you provide other critical support (caring for your child). It’s not like you’re going to be kicking back and relaxing, and if you didn’t take maternity you’d likely both be paying for childcare. And you’re already basically sharing your family ‘gift’ with him by not asking his full half. I don’t particularly feel finances NEED to be shared to make these things work (everyone is different), but if they’re not, there needs to be more respect and responsibility than he seems to be bringing. He sounds at best immature, at worst like he’s taking advantage of you. His priority shouldn’t be trying to keep every last $ for himself, it should be about the best way to keep your family unit financially stable (which includes your financial health.)
Don't put him on the mortgage. Keep it as yours! Honestly. It'll protect your money in the future. Until you're married, it'll be yours. Hopefully you'll be together forever 💓 but any break down in the future etc. It's your house my understand is he can only claim if he has made large contributions - example. House extension etc. Maybe seek proper legal advice at some point to protect you both? But I wouldn't put him on the mortgage xx
@Ivy but that’s the difference… you’re married. This isn’t a marriage. Huge financial and legal difference.
I don’t know where you’re based but whether you’re in England (like I am) or the US, it’s very simple: you need a document reflecting your respective contributions. See a lawyer asap to get an agreement drafted.
deposit issue should absolutely be separate, if your finances are not combined in general. especially if not married. agree with everyone saying to have an agreement drafted.
If you're not married I wouldn't put him on the house at all. It's your house (you are putting the deposit and getting the loan). He should contribute monthly to the mortgage as rent for living there.
Look at a Trust Deed to protect your interests- presuming you're in the UK.
If he’s not paying you half of the deposit, DO NOT put his name on the mortgage/lease/paperwork and get in writing that this is completely your house. He doesn’t seem like he’s ready to be a partner.
I wouldn't be buying a house with anyone I'm not married to. It's too messy if things don't work out. If you do buy as just yours depending on where you're from, even if his name isn't on the mortgage or contract, being common law could mean he'll still be entitled to some of your house if the relationship fails. Make sure you look into that as well.
Is he paying the mortgage payments? You paid the deposit. Your name is in the legal deed? The mortgage is in your name. But if he is paying the mortgage payments, it's his house too. Agree that if you're serious, all the money is joint money. He doesn't owe you money.
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Do the math, put it on a post it, stick it to his head, and tell him to pay up! You’re in the right, he needs to get his wallet out
Just adding one further comment here because I’m concerned about all of the incorrect advice above… I actually am a family lawyer, so further what I wrote above, please consult a lawyer as soon as possible. Do not rely on ‘advice’ from anyone other than an actual lawyer.
Yes definitely contact a lawyer. I should’ve said that in my original comment. I was a realtor and in some states there is common law some there aren’t. But if he is on the paperwork or common law then he is entitled to some of the money if you sell. Not sure about break up.
If he ain't paying half the deposit and the mortgage do not put his name on the damn thing. A house is an equal payment as for him not covering you on maternity, your line of thinking is correct you are WORKING taking care of his child and him no doubt, cooking and cleaning etc.... his contribution to the family is pay yours is damn keeping your family going!
If you’re in a relationship and buying a house then it should be all money is shared money. Not someone doing all of it and feeling like they need to be paid back (except the deposit makes sense so you have savings) but the kid is both of yours so he shouldn’t feel like he is covering for you. He is taking care of his family. My husband works and I SAHM and he would never expect me to pay him back. He sees it as taking care of us. When we were living together we split bills and all that but no one paid anyone back. We would just pay who had the money at the time.