Toddler - childcare

My son's 2. I just had my daughter a couple weeks ago. And I'm debating pulling him out of nursery and spending as much time with the two of them. Attend children centres, soft play and still socialise. And then have him in nursery full-time from 3 and eventually focus on going back to work. I just feel like my birth was so traumatic and I just want to spend time with them whilst they're little.. but don't want to get hounded by health visitors etc.
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That’s what we did except we had a nanny. I’d say give yourself 2-3 months with the baby alone to just heal and being with a newborn and a toddler gets intense. It’s so hard with the amount of feeds the baby needs. We lost our nanny two months in and regretted it as it was so intense for me. But now that baby is 4 months, it’s much easier 😊

@Melissa that sounds good. I just feel like they're only going to be little for such a short time, I may as well enjoy it as much as I can and then have him in nursery full time x

Yes I think that’s a good idea. You can take him to play centres still for fun outings and socialisation while you baby wear his little sister. It sounds lovely. And, with him being out of daycare hopefully he’ll bring less bugs home!

@Genevieve I was just worried as my health visitor was adamant about getting him into nursery & I feel like I just rushed and chose the first one I saw as well. Just want to enjoy them whilst they're little :( it goes so so quick

I moved my 3 year old to part time daycare once my Newborn was about 8 weeks. I will admit it is a lot to have both home when working through sleep regressions and trying to time outings, so the split days work well for us. He gets to see friends and keep a bit of that routine and I get to spend time with both of them.

Could you maybe not just reduce his hours at nursery so you still have some time with baby and bit of a break? My daughter only goes once a week, due another in feb and going to keep her in nursery for that rest bite

My eldest was 2 when my daughter was born. We’d moved to a different town while I was pregnant so when k came off on maternity leave I didn’t see the point in trekking back to take her to nursery or paying for it when I would be home and able to look after her anyway so I pulled her out. I put her into a new nursery one day a week when my youngest was about 6 months because it was HARD and she was missing the social aspect of nursery I think.

Personally I wouldn't pull him out completely, as I'm assuming he enjoys going, so I feel this would be quite disruptive to him. Can't u just put him in a couple of days a week?

I have a now 3 year old and a 7month old and we reduced her hours so she only goes 2 days a week to nursery (whilst I'm on mat leave) this is a perfect balance for us. My daughter gets to see her friends and do loads of activities at nursery, I get one on one time with the baby and we all gets days together x

@Inesse I might do this actually reduce it to once or twice a week instead

@𝔾𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕖 the health visitor I have was very adamant about him going nursery. I had him in afternoon sessions and she kept telling me to do morning, do this etc but I didn't want too

@Rebecca yeah I think I like the sound of that

No idea why your health visitor was pushing you to put him in nursery, he’s your kid so it’s your decision. The socialisation argument is bs. It’ll be better for him and baby sister to spend this time together with you at this age!

@Kathryn 🥹🥹thank you!! I mean I'd still take him to soft play, swimming, children centres, libraries and whatevers on in my area but I just feel like I want my babies at home with mee

Your HV shouldn’t be this involved in this decision unless there are issues with his development and he needs to get special intervention. It’s your choice. Do what’s best for you. Having said that, I love that our 3 year old goes to nursery. It gives me time with my baby or to clean, meal prep etc.. I would be lost without that time. But you do what works for you and your family.

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@Hayley my sister kept both her little ones at home until they started school. Of course they did all those things you mention too, she took them out and about like everyday. They are now 10 & 8 years old and thriving! Both very social, smart, and getting involved with sports, drama clubs, volunteering, etc.

I’m 1 year in after having a newborn and a 3.5 year old. I kept my son in nursery 2 days a week. This gave me and baby time to bond one on one and also let my son have his own time away from us too. Maybe start by reducing the time your eldest is there and see how you feel xx

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