No help during thanksgiving

I’m so pissed off. It’s Thanksgiving and I wanted a stress free day between cooking and cleaning, having to get baby ready, myself ready and the house ready to host 12 people all I wanted was a little bit of help. I called my bd to let him know he would have to watch her so I can focus on cooking. He sets her play mat up in the kitchen then goes back to his office on the computer. Whatever I watch her while I cook. I’m in the middle of shredding cheese and she’s whining so I have to keep stopping to help her. I finally tell him he needs to take her because I’m running out of time. He places her in his office in front on a tv show (we don’t do screen time but whatever🙄) I come back in to check on her because she’s still whining (because she’s bored) he’s screaming in frustration so yet again I can’t focus on cooking. When I get to her she’s chewing on an electrical cord. I lost my shit his back is turned to her buried in the computer I cursed him out. I take her back and end up finishing cooking while holding her. He closes his offices door and locks it behind me.

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I’ve learned if we want something done right we just do it ourselves. If dads aren’t in the mood they’re just going to do it so badly we never ask again. Sorry you went through that. But honestly, how you thought you could accomplish that long list of things to do without stress is beyond me. I would know I’m fucked lol.

@Cassie my baby is sooo easy she five months she can play independently for an hour so I figured he would be fine

I’m sorry girl. That would irk my nerves too bad. All he had to do was watch the baby 😒

This is so sad to read. I really hope something changes for you and you get the help you need from a partner. There are men out there that care about helping to minimize stress for you. I am grateful to have a husband that steps up to help and I hope he either learns to do that for you, or you find someone who does. This should not all be on you.

@S thank you, I’m really hoping he does as well because it was stressful af and he didn’t even stay after all my hard work he left to another family members house

That is really shitty. I’m so sorry. Is he someone that would listen to your concerns about how this was for you? My husband and I had a rough go for a bit after having my first and him learning to adjust to a life that wasn’t just about what he wanted to do when. We had hard conversations and worked together and now on baby number three I could not do it without the help I receive from him.

@S it takes him awhile of reflection then he is really good at putting himself in my shoes and seeing his behavior then we discuss it and he does change his behavior it’s just frustrating to have to even ask

lol sounds very similar to my husband. i’ve learned to just figure out how to do things while watching her and would never be able to cook a whole bunch. i was able to make 2 simple homemade things today while she sat in her high chair, and her dad was “watching “ her, but actually on his phone playing a game and not engaging with her then getting annoyed that she was whining. wtf. i bring her with me into the bathroom in her bouncer while i shower bc i just dont trust him watching her

@Dana I do the same when I have to shower😕

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