Am I the asshole?

Lmfao omg bitch yessss we live in a small town my son is front facing. I’d be pissed. how old is the child?

So I used to work with this girl who got pregnant before me and then had her baby 2 weeks after me (I had mine prematurely) our babies are both 13 months now and I seen in her Facebook story 2 weeks ago a video of her child front facing in the car (for context, in my country it’s illegal to front face the child before 15 months at least) so I messaged her incase she didn’t know this, letting her know that by law we have to rear face until at least 15 months old and I just didn’t want her getting stopped by police and getting a fine of like 500 I think. And she didn’t know and was thankful I told her. Fast forward to now I seen she put up a video again of the child forward facing AND loosely restrained in the harness of the car seat, so I reported it to a child protection charity with all the info I knew about them. This girl is chronically online so I was able to find out her adress just from pictures she put online. So am I an asshole for doing this?

Wow yes you are 100% imo.

Also she’s a nurse too so I would’ve thought she’d be more into safety than what she is

I mean yes it’s unsafe but no reason whatsoever for you to get involved at the end of the day it’s her responsibility

What country are you in?

The fact you went out of your way to stalk her profile to find her address, 100% imo.

@Lisa the uk

@Lin 😘😘

@H it took me a bit to write the info but it’s all in my comment

@Liv I didn’t stalk her profile, it was right there

You said you were able to find her address based on pictures she posted - you would have had to view several pictures to find it.

@Liv no she’s posted the front of her house, and the surroundings in like 2 pictures and multiple stories

You are seriously fucking dumb if you are from the UK, depending what type of car seat you have, you can legally front face from 9 months. So you have wasted valuable charities time. Disgusting.

@Lisa no actually your wrong

I feel like you have too much time on your hands to be worrying about what someone else is doing, focus on yourself and your own child/children. Or get a hobby.

It’s not your child and you’re not the police. In my country my son is allowed to be front facing now (8 months) because of his weight. There are bigger battles to report parents on such as abuse, drugs, neglect. Not because they are using a car seat a different way than you.

I think the weight of baby has a part to play in regards to child seating in the Uk 🇬🇧 not just age alone

It’s actually only illegal to forward face before 15 months if the seat is a height based seat - weight based seats have different rules and can be forward facing as long as child meets the requirements. So you may be wrong if the seat is weight based. My LB reached the weight requirement for forward facing in his weight based seat before 15 months. Are you an asshole? Probably. Only because you talk about Law and haven’t entirely read up the facts. Is rear facing preferred? Yes. Is it law? No. It’s based on the requirements of the seat and if she is using a seat where the child meets the requirements for forward facing then 🤷🏻‍♀️ Concerned for child’s safety? Which btw only thing you mention is how you thought she would be more into it being a nurse… then sure I see where you would be coming from, but reporting to a protection charity won’t actually do much. They don’t enforce child safety rules.

It depends on what car seat you have. Some are based on weigh rather than age. Tbh that seems more sensible as babies size can vary so greatly based on their age.

Yes YTA

15 months is only for I-size seats. Weight based seats are from 9kg (which is usually around 9 months.

I think in the UK we have 2 categories - height based and weight based and they have different ages for forward facing

@Lisa no need to start name calling

I mean there’s age and weight and height may differ between her child and her. Maybe her child’s height or weight let her be able to front face?

I think this warrants it, I will call a spade a spade, and I will call you a vindictive cow for being one. You have wasted a children’s charities time, don’t you feel like a dick for doing that?

Just curious, what child protection charity did you report her to NSPCC? Cos they won’t do shit. If you actually wanted to report her you should have contacted the police. Also, are you sure she doesn’t have a weight based seat? The “law” you’re referring to is for height sized.

Personally, I would probably think oh god that doesnt seem safe or whatever depending on what I’d seen and then go about the rest of my day!

Not only are others mum's are saying you have wasted the charities time but you are also risking her job.. she's a nurse so she helps people everyday and that's her income to take care of her child... You should of done some research on the law before doing this.. damn

I believe Extended rear facing is definitely safest and it’s what I am doing with my kids, I get it’s frustrating seeing children needlessly at risk, but parents have different opinions on it, it depends on the little ones weight as well as the seat not just the age in the uk, personally I would have left it at informing her of the benefits of rear facing and moved on 🫣

Wow. This is way too much. I would hate to rub shoulders with someone like you. This is such a huge overstep. Do not do this again. Get off social media lol

@Lisa but how am I being vindictive? She done nothing to me for me to want revenge? That’s what vindictive means

You are being vindictive though. “She did not listen to me when I told her and so I reported her” is exactly why

It was sounding like you just want to find an issue with her? Are you a little jealous? Why do you keep a close eye on her? Because your babies are around the same age??? Or she’s doing things you can’t do right now with ur LO??? I’m confused why you had all this time. Even now you’re like she needs to know better or like you’re a better parent because she front facing???

This person obviously bothers you in some way other wise there would be no reason to be out to get her in such a petty way. That or you’re just a very miserable person. Or both.

@Lisa lol omg I was just typing the same thing

I assume she’s blocked you now? I would rather social services spent time on the kids that desperately need help.

@Lisa right? Like if she was really concerned for the child’s safety she would have reported it to the correct people; not a charity!

Maybe I just don’t want the child to get seriously hurt or die due to the parent being uninformed? Like maybe my info won’t go through but the charities will? Idk

But you informed her. She may not be uninformed if her child meets requirements and is in a weight based seat.

My child was front facing at 12mo because it's the only way the carseat fit in our vehicle, it was approved of by our doctors and nurses. I've heard of young children being approved for front facing due to severe motion sickness and other conditions. Maybe she has a valid reason for why she didn't take your advice and now you're attempting to get people involved in her personal life and with her child.

With things like this, you should know and understand best as a mother that there is room for some flexibility. Sure, it isn’t recommended and, in some countries/states, there are specific law in place to ensure safety on the road, and they’re there for your own protection, BUT we know that sometimes when it is just you driving with a toddler, it can be difficult to focus while driving if the child is whining and fussy about sitting alone in the back rear-facing. Just ask yourself if you raised your own children completely by the book at all times? Is everything that black and white for you? There will be things you do and other mothers will also probably disagree with, but as long as it isn’t a form of child abuse that actually endangers the child’s life, or neglect, then there is room for some flexibility in that. You are an a**hole for not minding your own business just because you think you know better.

You’re the one who’s uninformed by spouting information that’s only part right. You can’t dictate to someone how to parent or how to put their child in their car! My son’s forward facing. He’s 13 months old. BUT meets the requirements for his chair. Yes I know the safety but he’s my child. You’ve posted anonymously on here but if she was to get a visit from anyone she will know it’s you for the simple fact you’ve messaged her first. People like you piss me off. You’re nothing but a busy body and have nothing better to do that pick at someone else’s faults. Stay in your lane and focus on your house. If she was beating the kid yeah ring someone but ffs because she’s put her kid forward facing and you don’t like it.. grow up

Some people just can’t mind them own business 🤦‍♀️

i’ve seen plenty of questionable things parents do that make me roll my eyes or raise my eyebrows but it’s not my place to parent other people’s children. unless there was abuse, neglect, or drugs then i can’t see why you would make a report.

She literally could have just been making a video and then turned the car seat around and strapped the kid in securely before she started driving. Think you should practice minding your own business!

Girl wtf is wrong with you!!! You’re really bored with your life and you don’t even understand your own state laws!!🥴 you need to just learn how to mind your own business and stop worrying about stuff that doesn’t concern you! Why tf are you watching her so closely anyways! Weird asf!🥴

Yes your are the asshole

On top of everything everyone already said , you said the baby is 13 months old thats only 2 months shy of the 15 month age you keep saying. Dont you think thats petty and very vindictive on your part ??? I think you have some deeper issues you truly need to address girl this didn’t turn out the way you thought it would huh 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

You’re such a loser! There are children actually at risk and needing those services. In the US a girl I follow posted her 13 mo front facing the other day and her boy is a CHONK. He doesn’t look to be in danger and she followed the weight restrictions of the seat. Mind you business and get a hobby.